History Report
by princessbinas
Summary: Alex has a history report and what (not so) better way to get it done than summon someone from the past? Good luck Alex, you are going to need it with the trouble you are going to get yourself into. Rated for naughty innuendos.


**Binas:** Here is a one shot. Basically, Alex has a history report and what (not so) better way to get it done than summon someone from the past? Good luck Alex, you are going to need it with the trouble you are going to get yourself into.

**Warning:** I used Google Translate so no promises on fluent Romaji.

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><p>Spells:<p>

**Out of the past, bring the guy on my mind here and fast!** - Bring someone from the past to the present

**He/she fell asleep in a foreign language class, help us both understand without the floating caption!** - Removes the language barrier.

**Return to the past, hurry home before the ship raises it's mast!** - Send someone back to their own time period (for those who come from the past).

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><p>Phrases:<p>

Tsutsukanaide!- Stop poking me!

Anata dare?! Nani wo itte iru ka?!- Who are you?! What are you saying?!

Mōhitotsu no kimyōna hako?- Another strange box?

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><p>.<p>

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><p>Alex Russo stared at the accursed thing that laid in front of her. Homework. Not just any old homework, unfortunately. It was a rubric for a <em>history<em> _report on Feudal Japan_. She groaned in irritation as she wished that just glaring at the stupid rubric would sprout wings and fly away. Well she would just use her magic to do so, but then she would have to deal with Justin nagging her about using magic to make things fly around the house and Max trying to poke it with a stick. The latter wasn't so bad, but the problem was, Max's 'poking stick', as he called it, was his wand. When Max's wand gets involved, ridiculous things happen.

"Why did he have to give us this stupid assignment!?", Alex whined to herself, "The past is completely boring! They didn't have chips or TV!"

Alex took one glance at the coffee table when a textbook appeared. She gave a repulsive/disgusted look at it and pushed it away with the tip of her wand. She was going to kill Justin for doing that. She got up from the couch and to the spiral stairway. She looked up the stairs with a furious look on her face.

"JUSTIN! I KNOW THAT WAS YOU! KEEP YOUR CRUMMY BOOKS TO YOURSELF!", Alex yelled, "THEY ARE DISGUSTING TO LOOK AT!"

"SORRY? WHAT DID YOU SAY? I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF MAKING SOMETHING THAT WILL BLOW AWAY THE WHOLE SCHOOL!", Justin shouted back.

"I HOPE IT'S A BOMB SO THAT MY PROJECT GETS CANCELLED!", Alex shouted, "THE BEST PART, IT'S YOU WHO BOMBS THE SCHOOL!"

"WHY WOULD I BUILD A BOMB WHEN I CAN BUILD A SOLAR POWERED FAN?!", Justin yelled as a very loud fan turned on, causing a bunch of racket upstairs, "IT JUST NEEDS MINOR ADJUSTMENTS!"

"Oh so you heard me that time... Stupid Justin and his stupid solar fan!", Alex grumbled to herself.

Alex plopped herself back on the couch and groaned. She was so irritated by Justin that it hurt to say that she envied him. She could write a report on that without issues, but would most certainly get an F for trying to turn that in. What could she do that would allow her to get at least a C- so that her parents wouldn't scold her for getting a D like she did in lunch. She racked her brain around for ideas. There was no way she would read from a textbook and she sure wasn't getting a history lesson from Justin of all people.

"Maybe I don't need a history lesson from Justin...", Alex said as an idea came to her head and she looked at old looking book behind her, "In fact, I think I know how to make this interesting..."

Alex waved her wand, causing the old book to float towards her. She grabbed the book with a smirk of victory. She waved her wand again and tapped the book with the glowing gemstone of her wand. The book glowed briefly and she smirk grew.

"Let's see, from this list of people who should I choose? How about someone who has live quite a long time in Feudal Japan. Is a good looking guy. And would at least make things interesting. Oh! And someone who would likely make Justin wet himself or have a heart attack!", Alex said.

With each preference she said, the book glowed, narrowing down her choices. She took a look at the narrowed list.

"Let's see... Too stoic... Too old to be handsome... Why would I want someone who is a tree? That just makes no sense... And they call people who look like horses handsome?... Okay what was the writer smoking when they made this search book?", Alex said as her frown grew with every passing result.

Alex glared at the book, and tapped her once more glowing wand on it again. The search book reset itself and she opened the book again.

"Okay, now what do we get this time...? An imp with a superiority complex and unhealthy obsessions with that stoic guy... Okay, eww! No perverts, even if they are good looking and give Justin a heart attack!", Alex gagged, "Okay, how is a cat with two tails going to help? Next!"

Alex repeated the same process with her wand tapping and book opening. She studied the page and smiled at her 'long awaited' results. She read the profile a bit and laughed.

"Okay this one is a good one! He's everything I wanted in a guy who will do my research for me!", Alex said in glee.

Alex closed the book and threw it on top of the textbook. She was ready to summon her research guy.

"**Out of the past, bring the guy on my mind here and fast!**", Alex chanted as she waved her wand.

The glow in the gem of Alex's wand left as a ball of light and flew to the floor. The light began to take on the form of a tall person with long hair. When it faded, Alex grinned in victory. She had summoned the guy who would do her research without fail.

*_SNORE!_*

Well almost without fail... Alex's eye twitched as she looked at the sleeping form. The person sleeping had long white hair and wore the strangest all out red outfit ever. To her it looked like a bath robe.

"And they said I was too lazy to get dressed...", Alex said.

What really perked Alex's interests was the fact the person had white dog ears on his head rather than human ears and claw-like fingernails. This meant this guy was likely not a mortal and could show off her magic without risking anything. She peered at the person's face to make sure she didn't summon and old guy. What shocked her was the fact the person was a teenage boy.

"Someone's a bit rebellious! Perfect! We will get along just fine!", Alex said.

"Alex!"

Alex turned her attention to the winding stairs. It was just Max. She wasn't sure if she should be glad, or scared for her hide. Max was the most unpredictable wizard she ever knew. One moment Max could be picking his nose with his wand, and the next he would be trapped in a giant version of his own snot. Alex shuddered at the memory.

Max came over and saw the sleeping boy.

"So who's the guy on the floor?", Max asked, "Is he a magical dog?"

"No Max. This guy here is going to 'help' me with my homework.", Alex said.

"Oh so he is going to be doing your homework for you. Why didn't you ask me?", Max said.

"Because you, would get me in trouble. I am not allowed to turn in another gross story about a dinosaur couple.", Alex said eying Max.

"No problem! Gotta love it when dinosaurs start a family!", Max said with a smile.

"Get out of here before you make me puke!", Alex snapped.

"Not yet. There is something I want.", Max said.

Alex groaned in irritation. She was beginning to wonder if Max was just here to stall her.

"What could you possible want?", Alex asked.

"I want to poke that guy with my stick!", Max said.

Alex glared at Max.

"Max! I don't want to see you poke anyone with your stick!", Alex snapped.

"Relax, it's just this stick!", Max said holding up his wand.

"Fine, poke him with your stick as long that stick of your's is your wand!", Alex said.

Max cheered and ran up to the sleeping guy. Taking his wand, Max began poking the boy in various places with a large grin. Alex rolled her eyes as she watched Max have funny poking the guy on the floor.

"Tsutsukanaide!", The guy yelled as he shot up and glared at Max.

"Cool it talks! I gotta love my magical stick!", Max said and hugged his wand.

"Anata dare?! Nani wo itte iru ka?!", The guy yelled again, sounding rather ticked off.

"Man! No one told me he would be speaking Spanish!", Alex whined.

"I don't think it's Spanish Alex, I think he's speak the language of the stick!", Max said holding his wand in Alex's face.

Alex glared at her younger brother and grabbed his wrist. She began to drag him to the stairs.

"You know what, go bother Justin for a bit with your stick!", Alex said, "Tell him all about it's magical adventures in your pocket!"

"What a great idea!", Max said and ran up the stairs, "Hey Justin! Want to see what my magical stick can do?!"

Alex walked over the the boy, who was giving a curious look at the TV.

"Mōhitotsu no kimyōna hako?", The boy asked as he tapped it.

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose. She was getting annoyed with hearing the boy speaking in a language she could not understand. It gave her a nasty headache just thinking about 'no' could possibly mean for him.

"You know what. Let's take the short cut.", Alex said and began to wave her wand, "**This boy fell asleep in a foreign language class, help us both understand without the floating caption!**"

The boy perked up and glared at the ball of light. Just as soon as he was going to attack it, it hit him. He fell back a bit, slightly dazed from the spell hitting him. Alex smirked, now she should be able to understand what the boy was saying.

"Come on, get up.", Alex said and threw a pillow at the boy's face.

Before the pillow could even make an impact on the boy, the boy had caught the pillow. He got up off the floor and held his head a bit.

"What the heck did you do to me, wench!?", The boy asked rather rudely.

Alex blinked a bit. She was expecting the boy to be a bit nicer, but if this was the price to pay for giving Justin a heart attack.

"Oh just broke the language barrier so you can do my homework!", Alex said.

"No way am I going to be doing that homework stuff!", The boy snapped, "Do it yourself!"

Alex frowned, this was not going the way she hoped it would go.

"I should have summoned the tree, at least it would give me paper and a pencil.", Alex said.

"ALEX!"

Alex frowned. Seriously, what was with today? She looked at the stairs to see Justin come down them with Max in tow.

"Hi Alex!", Max said, "I gave Justin the best conversation he will never have again!"

"Take Max for me please? I don't want to hear anything more about sticks!", Justin said.

Alex groaned at her fate as Justin went back up stairs. Before Alex could even do anything, Justin came back down. He looked at the white haired boy and Alex.

"Alex!", Justin said and stormed up to Alex, "There was a reason why I gave you the text book!"

"What was it? To make me barf?", Alex asked.

Justin took Alex away from the boy. The white haired boy gave a strange look at Justin, not sure if he should be thankful or not that Justin just took away the most annoying girl away.

"It was so you didn't use magic!", Justin whispered, "Summoning someone from the past could do something bad to the timeline! It's almost like that Future Harper incident! Or the time you kept reversing time!"

"Oh wah wah!", Alex said sarcastically, "I don't want to hear that and you know that! Can you at least tell me the spell that will get someone to do whatever you desire?!"

"You know I can hear all of you! There is no way you are going to bewitch me!", The boy growled like a seriously ticked off dog.

"Relax, I know the spell that will fix everything!", Max said.

Justin and Alex paled. When ever Max tried to fix something he either did nothing or made everything ten times worse than before. Max stood there smiling, adding to the discomfort. The white haired boy gave an anticipating look. It was like he was waiting for something to happen.

"There. Just did it! Nice and quiet!", Max said.

Everyone groaned in annoyance. The white haired boy stormed up to Max and punched him in the head.

"Don't screw with me!", The white haired boy snapped.

"Wow. You are the nicest person I have ever meet!", Max said.

Another pound in the head.

"Thanks for the gift.", Max said.

"Stop patronizing me!", The white haired boy snapped and delivered another whack to Max's head.

"What does patronizing mean? Is it a type of Chinese Food?", Max asked.

The white haired boy's eye twitched as a sweat drop appeared.

"You are a complete idiot, aren't you...?", The white haired boy asked.

"Yup!", Max said cheerfully, "Now I remember the spell I was going to use!"

Justin ran over to Max and whispered into his ear.

"Max! You know we can't do anything like that in front of mortals!", Justin snapped.

The white haired boy growled again. Justin took that as a sign that the boy over heard them again.

"Do I _look_ like a mortal to you, idiot?!", The white haired boy growled.

"First of all, I am the _smartest_ person in the Russo family.", Justin said, slightly offended, "Second of all, I am sure you are just a confused cosplayer that Alex took advantage of. It wouldn't be the first time either..."

"I don't care if you are smarter than _Koga_!", The boy yelled and leaped really high into the air and landed in front of the offending Russo, "And for your information, I am a _demon_!"

"Alex...", Justin whimpered, "I think I need my brown pants..."

"YES! HE GOT JUSTIN TO HAVE AN ACCIDENT IN HIS PANTS!", Alex cheered.

Justin glared at Alex as the white haired boy loomed over.

"Now is not the time to celebrate! Just get my pants!", Justin snapped.

Alex's hand glowed, causing the boy to growl at her. In Alex's hand appeared a pair of ridiculous pants. The boy was confused why she summoned a pair of pants, but it made Justin annoyed.

"Not the Smarty Pants, Alex!", Justin snapped, "A regular pair of brown pants!"

"Come on! At least this will distract people from viewing your stained bottom.", Alex said.

"Guys! Let me preform the spell that will fix everything!", Max shouted.

"What is exactly the spell that will fix everything?", Alex asked, sounding really suspicious of Max's idea.

"A spell to send him home as if nothing ever happened.", Max said.

"Fine, but if anything goes wrong, you know who will be fixing the mess!", Alex said pointing to Justin.

Justin sighed. Of course it is always Justin who has to fix everything.

"Okay doggy-man!", Max said and pointed his wand at the growling boy, "Ready to go home?"

"What did _you_ just call _me_?!", The boy yelled.

"**Return to the past, hurry home before the ship raises it's mast!**", Max chanted as his wand glowed.

The spell hit the boy, sending him back to his own time. Justin and Alex sighed in relief it wasn't a failed spell. Alex then frowned. She took a look at the Smarty Pants and put them on. Justin glared at Alex as she put them on.

"Why didn't I think of this before! Duh!", Alex said, "Now I can get my homework done."

Alex waved her wand, causing a full written report to appear. The best part, it had Alex's own hand writing. Alex blew the tip of her wand and smiled at her achievement. Justin sighed in disdain. He really wished Alex wouldn't use magic so irresponsibly...


End file.
